SWW: Episode I-The Phantom Menace (1999)

Bet you thought I was gonna do Empire Strikes Back next, huh?

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Well tough luck, that’s not the order I’m doing this.

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In other words, I don’t give a fuck!

Let’s be honest, if I did the movies chronologically from where I started, I would run out of the ones I want to talk about before Wednesday.

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Completely justified calling these the bad ones…

So in order for me to space them out and keep myself entertained, I’ll have to explain the nature of the prequels and why the episode numbers are all over the place…

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After the massive success of the Star Wars trilogy, and I know at this point I have only covered the first film…but come on…of course its a fucking success…Disney wouldn’t pay $4 billion for nothing…

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He doesn’t seem to worried about it…then again he is an evil Sith Lord…

Moving on…

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Give it a second, geez.

In the early 1990’s, George Lucas, the original creator of Star Wars, saw a resurgence in the series popularity, with the spike being caused mostly by my birth and obsession with Star Wars stuff…

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I want to use this clip cause the actually Star Wars kid committed suicide and that made me sad. This doesn’t.

As a result, Lucas decided to revisit the series and produce an additional trilogy, and the world collectively lost its shit.

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Granted, I don’t know how many women were this excited, but I’m sure there were some…

This new trilogy was to follow the story of Anakin Skywalker and his path to the dark side as he becomes the villain of the original trilogy, Darth Vader.

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I remember when this poster first came out and people lost it…

So in 1999, when The Phantom Menace was released, people were greeted by this abomination.

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Now, I will suspend judgement of Jar Jar Binks for the remainder of this post…but not without leaving this here.

I continue, I have something to say.

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Jake Llyod, the actor that played Anakin Skywalker, was ten years old when this movie was filmed. It is not his fault George Lucas is an idiot. So, while I’m not the biggest fan of Anakin, it is not his fault…it’s George Lucas and this guy’s fault.

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I’m gonna use this gif SO many times…

But with those two issues out of the way, and ignoring a whole boatload of other issues…

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I actually really enjoyed this movie.

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Granted, it could be mostly due to nostalgia…

I know that some scenes are ridiculous; and yes, some of the acting is pretty atrocious…

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I’d honestly rather had you been a puppet like Yoda…

This movie did have it moments.

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No shit I like this scene, I was five when I first saw it. It was the closest thing to meth back then…

One of them being this scene…

If that music doesn’t get you riled up, then you don’t have a pulse…

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If Guy can  get on his feet and get hype, so can you.

And while it may be due to my fascination with it at an early age, but I really enjoy the pod racing scene.

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Though some of the acting wasn’t the best, we did get great performances by Ewan McGregor, as Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Liam Neeson, as Qui-Gon Jin.

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George: “Ok, now slowly walk into the water.” Liam: “Do I really have to do this?” 
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Well, at least we got one movie with Liam Neeson…

In fact, Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan may be one of my favorite aspects of this entire, prequel trilogy; giving an amazing performance in all three films while many of the other actors took it less seriously…NATALIE.

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She was the original Kristen Stewart in this role. Absolutely no emotions…

Overall, I enjoyed this installment in the Star Wars franchise. And while it has many flaws, it has nothing on Episode II

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We have to talk about it Ewan…
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