John Wick (2014)

If it isn’t obvious by now, I love action movies. Drawn out gun fights, shit blowing up in slow motion, epic car chases, blood and gore; that’s my jam.

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So when someone told me I had to watch John Wick with Keanu Reeves because it was everything I wanted in an action movie, I couldn’t believe them. Fucking this guy?

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Still a fantastic movie.

Yeah, yeah I know…he was in The Matrix and that movie pretty much made the modern action movie…

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God this scene is amazing.

But it’s not like he was a total badass in that. (And no, I don’t count the sequels, they were garbage…)

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Shut up Neo, it took you forever to stop whining and be a badass.

And yes, I’m aware of Point Break, but that movie was great because of the stunts and Swayze, not the action or Keanu…

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You won’t do it.

Yet despite these preconceptions of Reeves, I decided to watch John Wick. And I have to say, it was…

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I had to use this somewhere….

No but seriously, forget everything you know about Keanu Reeves and watch this clip.

Let me just give you some background info…the film begins with John Wick’s wife’s death. Yeah that usually happens later in most action movies and is the catalyst to make the hero go “Rambo”, but not in this one. (I’m aware that’s not what happens in First Blood, but do you have another word for this?)

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Cause honestly, I’m too distracted watching this scene to think of a better word…

As her last gift to John, his wife left him a dog. More specifically, she left him a very cute puppy that every audience member instantly connects with and will never have anything bad happen to it…

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Just a shame if anything were to happen…

So long story short, Theon Greyjoy makes a dickless move and steals John Wick’s car and kills his dog…spoilers…

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I made a dickless joke, so what?

So Theon tries to sell the car to one of John Wick’s associates, because apparently everyone knows who John Wick is except this kid, and it doesn’t go well…

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Literally, everyone knows who he is….

So without spoiling anything else in the film…I’ll just leave you with this and some other gifs…

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If you don’t want to watch this movie by now, you’re tacky and I hate you…

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That water would be suspiciously brown if that were me….
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