Popular Movies That Suck: Avatar

Avatar

2009

Starring: Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Sigourney Weaver, Stephen Lang, Michelle Rodriguez, and James Cameron’s Wet Dream

Ok, ok. I know that as a connoisseur of film I am suppose to love James Cameron,
“James Cameron does what James Cameron does because he IS James Cameron”

And don’t get me wrong, he’s done some amazing work and is arguably one of the best directors of all time…

My personal favorite…

And I guess I should acknowledge Titanic…even though I’m not the biggest fan.

And if I make someone sad with this and ruin their day, well then I’m happy.

But I have never understood everyone’s obsession with Avatar. 

Yippee fucking skippee he’s blue…

“But Maaaaaaac, it’s a technological break through in the way CGI is filmed!!” I get it John, it looks cool…

I love How To Train Your Dragon!…
But that doesn’t stop the movie from being boring as fuck…
If I wanted to watch a movie about how much my ancestors sucked for the atrocities we committed against the Native Americans I’d watch Pocahontas…
 
No but seriously, I’m from Virginia…most likely my ancestors…our bad.

“But MAAAAAAAAC! That’s animated! And Disney! And not entirely historically accurate!” Fair enough John, then I’ll watch Dances with Wolves.

Alright to be fair, I’ve never seen Dances with Wolves

The movie is boring. It’s incredibly predictable and way too long for something I could’ve guessed the ending five minutes in…no amount of Smurf porn is gonna change that…

Did I Google “Smurf porn” to find this? No you sick pervert…

I’m glad it lost best picture to The Hurt Locker, that was a much better movie and actually made me think past “Ooooo! Look at the pretty colors!”…

I know I’m in the minority of people who dislike this movie, and I may even change my opinion on it when the sequel comes out in 2038…..
Stop exploring the ocean and go make another movie James…
And if I have offended anyone with this post…hopefully this will make up for it.
 

 

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